1. This weekend at church we sat in the balcony, just on the corner. We had nursery duty, but our classroom only contained our kiddo, so we got to sneak out and attend service! So, worship turned me into a blubbery mess. Just straight up ugly kinda crying. It's amazing how God's love and faithfulness can just melt your heart. Wow.
2. Something I believed to be impossible has actually happened. God is so generous and I am amazed. God is so good. Thank you, Lord.
Lord, wow. Thank you. Your love for me and my family is astounding. Thank you for your faithfulness. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Ups and downs
I know God sees everything that comes across our path and none of it surprises him. Either he has already prepared us for it in some way, or the season will somehow be used to bring us closer to him. Sometimes both. I just don't believe that today is only about today. Believing that life is just a long wait until you die would be so very hopeless.
God has prepared me for this season, but my reaction to it doesn't always reflect that. I flail and whine and complain instead of just closing my eyes and letting his grace flow.
I'm listening to a very peaceful song by Jeremy Camp called Surrender right now. It says a lot of what I am wanting to be, but, well...
Lord, thank you for this quiet time. Thank you for our Bible study about John. I know there is a reason you provided the author of a gospel rather than a letter at this time. It's time to just focus on Jesus. Not all the other stuff going on around me. Just Jesus. Thank you, Lord, for this season. You are so faithful. I love you.
God has prepared me for this season, but my reaction to it doesn't always reflect that. I flail and whine and complain instead of just closing my eyes and letting his grace flow.
I'm listening to a very peaceful song by Jeremy Camp called Surrender right now. It says a lot of what I am wanting to be, but, well...
Lord, thank you for this quiet time. Thank you for our Bible study about John. I know there is a reason you provided the author of a gospel rather than a letter at this time. It's time to just focus on Jesus. Not all the other stuff going on around me. Just Jesus. Thank you, Lord, for this season. You are so faithful. I love you.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Be at peace
One of my favorite bloggers doesn't post a whole lot...because she is listening to God about her priorities and choosing to honor her husband when he wisely tells her to back away from the computer. :-) :-) :-)
While she was in India, on a short trip she knew only God could put together, she received a disturbing email from a reader, criticizing her for what she was doing. All in the name of love, of course.
So, I want to pray for that reader today whose words stung this blogger whose words have so often brought me peace and caused me to think more about God and God in my life.
Lord, you know the heart of that woman. Somewhere in her mind or heart she justified her actions. And the enemy was glad for the opportunity to further his mission of causing divisions among people and separation from God. However Lord, your Holy Spirit cannot be silenced. You can be ignored, but not silenced. No man has the power to silence the creator of the universe and redeemer of our souls. So Lord, please help that woman to seek peace. Within herself and with you. Peace with others. Peace in her home. Peace that surpasses all understanding and comes from the Prince of Peace. Please do a work in her heart that is so amazing that the change is even evident on the outside. Please Lord, give her Godly counsel through Your Word, and through other people who earnestly seek Your face. Lord, if it's possible, please provide her an opportunity to go back and seek reconciliation where she has hurt others and not even realized it. Lord, only you know what she needs. Please be with her during this time in her life. In Jesus' name, Amen
While she was in India, on a short trip she knew only God could put together, she received a disturbing email from a reader, criticizing her for what she was doing. All in the name of love, of course.
So, I want to pray for that reader today whose words stung this blogger whose words have so often brought me peace and caused me to think more about God and God in my life.
Lord, you know the heart of that woman. Somewhere in her mind or heart she justified her actions. And the enemy was glad for the opportunity to further his mission of causing divisions among people and separation from God. However Lord, your Holy Spirit cannot be silenced. You can be ignored, but not silenced. No man has the power to silence the creator of the universe and redeemer of our souls. So Lord, please help that woman to seek peace. Within herself and with you. Peace with others. Peace in her home. Peace that surpasses all understanding and comes from the Prince of Peace. Please do a work in her heart that is so amazing that the change is even evident on the outside. Please Lord, give her Godly counsel through Your Word, and through other people who earnestly seek Your face. Lord, if it's possible, please provide her an opportunity to go back and seek reconciliation where she has hurt others and not even realized it. Lord, only you know what she needs. Please be with her during this time in her life. In Jesus' name, Amen
Friday, June 5, 2009
Angry
I am using this vehicle as a place of confession today. Things I need to acknowledge and things I need to get off my chest.
First, I have been really angry the past couple days. Not all day, relentless anger. But anger that pops up when I percieve others to be out of line. And then I have exploded. Frothing at the mouth, smoke coming out the ears kind of mad. Big time angry. I don't like it. Afterwards I feel like an out of control failure of a person.
I am deeply frustrated right now because I feel like I am in this pattern of spinning my wheels. Like I am treading water. Like I can't make progress or get any relief from the things that are upsetting me because the waves just keep crashing. One thing after the next. I feel like I am on the roller coaster from hell. I want off.
I can attribute a handful of circumstances to each of these emotions. I can identify them and point fingers. But it doesn't help. I cannot control others and am doing a pretty shoddy job of controlling how their attitudes and actions affect me.
Lord, so many people in the Word have cried out to you as they weathered huge storms. Many reminded you about their righteousness and asked that you would remember who they are. I don't feel I have any claim to righteousness at this point, but I am still your daughter. And I am burnt to a crisp right now. I need peace that flows like a river to wash over me right now. To put out the fires. They just keep popping up. Hot spots. "Whatever the cost, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul. It is well. With my soul. It is well. It is well. With my soul." Let it be so Lord. Thank you for turning your ear toward me. Amen--
First, I have been really angry the past couple days. Not all day, relentless anger. But anger that pops up when I percieve others to be out of line. And then I have exploded. Frothing at the mouth, smoke coming out the ears kind of mad. Big time angry. I don't like it. Afterwards I feel like an out of control failure of a person.
I am deeply frustrated right now because I feel like I am in this pattern of spinning my wheels. Like I am treading water. Like I can't make progress or get any relief from the things that are upsetting me because the waves just keep crashing. One thing after the next. I feel like I am on the roller coaster from hell. I want off.
I can attribute a handful of circumstances to each of these emotions. I can identify them and point fingers. But it doesn't help. I cannot control others and am doing a pretty shoddy job of controlling how their attitudes and actions affect me.
Lord, so many people in the Word have cried out to you as they weathered huge storms. Many reminded you about their righteousness and asked that you would remember who they are. I don't feel I have any claim to righteousness at this point, but I am still your daughter. And I am burnt to a crisp right now. I need peace that flows like a river to wash over me right now. To put out the fires. They just keep popping up. Hot spots. "Whatever the cost, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul. It is well. With my soul. It is well. It is well. With my soul." Let it be so Lord. Thank you for turning your ear toward me. Amen--
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Clearly
I just spent the last few minutes reading a blog about the murder of an abortion provider who was one of three providers in the U.S whose sole practice was providing abortions beyond 21 weeks, when we all know babies are capable of survival outside the womb.
Couple thoughts:
1. Murdering him was clearly wrong and gives the pro-abortion folks a new poster boy martyr for their cause, potentially leading to greater protection (physical and legal) of like-minded individuals.
2. I am NOT happy he was murdered, but I am at peace with the idea that a mass murderer (60,000+ babies died at his hands through the most hideous means imaginable. Truly--do some research and you will struggle not to throw up. Violent, gory, heinous methods.) is no longer roaming the streets. He used the blessing of having life himself, and the intelligence to make it through extensive schooling to kill others.
Murder isn't the answer. We ALWAYS have other choices. It takes a courageous woman to face down the entirety of a pregnancy she doesn't want and to see it through. There are several people in my life who wouldn't be in it if it weren't for a brave biological mama who knew she had options. Thank you to those mamas. The choice to save your child's life by continuing your pregnancy has blessed me more than you will ever know. We love your babies and are so grateful you chose life. We wish more people had your heart because there are lots more families out there just waiting and waiting to provide a home for that little one. You did a great job. Be at peace with your decision.
Lord, this situation is absolutely scandalous. You are the only one who knows the hearts of all involved. Each advocate either way, each doctor, each nurse, each mama, each baby. You know. Their hearts. Their names. Even those who we never got to meet. You know. Please soften our hearts to your truths. Sometimes it feels like we are so over run with wickedness and sin that I can't help but wonder when you are coming back in a blaze of glory to clean house. In the mean time, Father, please work on my heart. Please help me to divide lies and emotions from truth. Please Lord, help me not to be wicked as well. Change me, Lord. I want to be more like you and to see things the way you see them. Thank you for Jesus and for the Word. Please Lord, come quickly. Amen--
Couple thoughts:
1. Murdering him was clearly wrong and gives the pro-abortion folks a new poster boy martyr for their cause, potentially leading to greater protection (physical and legal) of like-minded individuals.
2. I am NOT happy he was murdered, but I am at peace with the idea that a mass murderer (60,000+ babies died at his hands through the most hideous means imaginable. Truly--do some research and you will struggle not to throw up. Violent, gory, heinous methods.) is no longer roaming the streets. He used the blessing of having life himself, and the intelligence to make it through extensive schooling to kill others.
Murder isn't the answer. We ALWAYS have other choices. It takes a courageous woman to face down the entirety of a pregnancy she doesn't want and to see it through. There are several people in my life who wouldn't be in it if it weren't for a brave biological mama who knew she had options. Thank you to those mamas. The choice to save your child's life by continuing your pregnancy has blessed me more than you will ever know. We love your babies and are so grateful you chose life. We wish more people had your heart because there are lots more families out there just waiting and waiting to provide a home for that little one. You did a great job. Be at peace with your decision.
Lord, this situation is absolutely scandalous. You are the only one who knows the hearts of all involved. Each advocate either way, each doctor, each nurse, each mama, each baby. You know. Their hearts. Their names. Even those who we never got to meet. You know. Please soften our hearts to your truths. Sometimes it feels like we are so over run with wickedness and sin that I can't help but wonder when you are coming back in a blaze of glory to clean house. In the mean time, Father, please work on my heart. Please help me to divide lies and emotions from truth. Please Lord, help me not to be wicked as well. Change me, Lord. I want to be more like you and to see things the way you see them. Thank you for Jesus and for the Word. Please Lord, come quickly. Amen--
Monday, June 1, 2009
Working definitions
Where is the line between mercy and ending life? How do I define life? How do I define death? What exactly does the commandment about not murdering mean? I would like to trust my gut on some of these things because I know that my faith is real and God's Word is true, but I also know that emotions don't always lead to smart choices.
I know I am getting awfully personal here, but I need to process some of what has been going on in my life. I also don't want the kindly opinions of others. They don't really matter. What does matter is what God's Word says about the things I wrestling with.
Lord, please help me with these ideas. I would like to better understand your thoughts on these things. My gut is saying to tread carefully because these are your choices, not to be taken lightly. Please be with my family during this season. Please put people in the path of the people I care about who can share your truth. Please prepare hearts for the transforming message of truth. Thank you for loving me and sending Jesus. Thank you for the hope of Heaven. Amen--
I know I am getting awfully personal here, but I need to process some of what has been going on in my life. I also don't want the kindly opinions of others. They don't really matter. What does matter is what God's Word says about the things I wrestling with.
Lord, please help me with these ideas. I would like to better understand your thoughts on these things. My gut is saying to tread carefully because these are your choices, not to be taken lightly. Please be with my family during this season. Please put people in the path of the people I care about who can share your truth. Please prepare hearts for the transforming message of truth. Thank you for loving me and sending Jesus. Thank you for the hope of Heaven. Amen--
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