Sadness

Dad called and told me he had to put Maddie down today. He was heartbroken. Me too. Mom called cuz Dad called her and because she is heartbroken also. She is so exhausted. I can't imagine what it's like to see your parents' condition start to deteriorate and to acknowledge that things will never be what they once were. She also didn't get to say goodbye and she wasn't there to help Dad. She just can't be in two places at once. I know they are both hurting so much.

My brother and sis-in-law were at the hospital today to get her knee repaired. It's been more than a year. They were disappointed with the outcome of the surgery. I had to tell him about the dog. I cried too much.

My family feels so splintered and I want it to all be ok. I am having to look deep into the truth that it just won't ever be yesterday again. I want to pull them ALL close and to laugh together. We haven't all been together and laughed in so long it takes my breath away to acknowledge it. Yesterday is gone and today I just feel so sad. Sad enough that the tears are only minimally held back. I can't have yesterday ever again. No previous day can be repeated. Heart...ache...

Lord, I don't know even what to pray for. My heart is just so heavy and my emotions so raw. Please be with my family as we grieve and mourn and try to do our best during this season. It hurts a lot. Thank you for your Word and the promises it contains. In Jesus' name.